Fakin' It

I think I've decided to just smile and laugh at what people say. Some people say fake it til you feel it. I don't like being fake. I'm just not feelin' it lately. That's the feeling of the moment. I think it's attributed to lack of social interaction and stimulation. I fear that the interaction will turn out bad. I think these are rather strange thoughts and thinking of mine. With hope and effort, let it just be a bridge back home.

Before, I used to talk to myself. There would be Sandy and San San. Sandy being my mind, my superego, and San San being the one in the world. Sandy said today, "It's been years since you've listened to me."

I promise, if and when I go to China, I'll write everyday, something, anything.

I happened to see a friend today. I was sitting down reading the paper outside the library when she approached me. She had said, "You know you're a nerd when you study in your free time." I guess. Whatever. Perhaps I should have given more merit to her point. But I well... that is what I like to do - learn. I'm trying to be better. I have some interests, things that sound/seem cool to me. But I like tip toe around it and I need to stop it and confront and elucidate it all.

I've been rather anti-social feeling.

It's good to get these feelings out. It's kinda better to blog than idk tell people, well in the point that then you don't need to share with tons of people over and over again individually. Well, ya get my point, but then again conversation is very. It's like that lil cartoon, this this happened to me and the other character says, ya... I know... facebook.

Anywho, it's time to get to work. I'm going to update my GI notes, then if i have my manatou gi notes, look that over, look at zanfel, then do endocrine! and any other time left over is for meth and anatomy.

plans this weekend:
friday: social justice conference, karate, styles of asia? study
saturday: social justice conference, convention 8 - go to the first one, and up or on the rocks with steph, cathy and shams ??? or not go and just study!!
sunday: prepare for derm class, review notes, study for PE and law, study endocrine, meth

I guess what bothers me today the conversation I had with my friend. She asked what I was doing/gonna do. I kinda acted like everything else was done? Or that was her impression so I went with that? Stupid right? Yea. Just we are constantly working on something, studying and trying to remember things, just keep fightin' the humongo tide of work that's thrown our way is how I see it.