Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Unlucky

I got no luck yo. That's all!

T.I. - Dead and Gone

(Feat. T.I.)

Chorus:

(Justin Timberlake):
Ooooooo
I've been travelin
On this road to long
Just trying to find
My way back home
The old me
Is dead and gone
Dead and gone
Ooooooo
I've been travelin
On this road to long
Just trying to find
My way back home
The old me
Is dead and gone
Dead and gone

(T.I.)
Ever had one of dem days
U wish woulda stayd home
Run into a group of niggas
Getting they hate on
U walk by
They get wrong u reply
Then shit get blown
Way outta proportion
Way past discussion
Just u against them,
Pick one then rush em
Figure u get your hair?
That next
They don't wanna stop
There now they bussin
Now u gushin, ambulance
Rushin u to the hospital
With a bad concussion
Plus ya hit 4 times
Plus it hit ya
Spine paralyzed waist down
Now ya wheel chair bound
Nevermind that now
U lucky to be alive,
Just think it all started u
Fussin with 3 guys
Now ya pride in the way
But ya pride is the way u
Could fuck around
Get shot die anyday
Niggas die
Every day all over
Bull shit dope money dice
Game ordinary hood shit
Could this be
Cuz of hip hop music
Or did the ones
With the good sense
Not use it
Usually niggas
Don't kno what to do
When their back
Against the wall
So they just start shootin
For red or for blue
Or for blo I guess,
From Bankhead
Or from your projects
No more stress,
Now I'm straight,
Now I get it now I take
Time to think,
Before I make mistakes
Just for my familys sake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away.

(Chorus)

(T.I.)
I aint never been scared,
I lived through tragedy
Situation coulda been dead
Lookin back at it
Most of that shit
Didn't even have to happen
But u don't think about it
When u out there trappin
In apartments hangin
Smokin and rappin
Niggas start shit didn't
Next thing ya kno we cappin
Get locked up
Then didn't even get mad
Now think about damn
What a life I had
Most of that shit
Look back just laugh
Some shit
Still look back just sad
Maybe my homboy
Till be around
Had I not
Hit the nigga
In the mouth that time
I won that fight, I lost that war
I can still see my nigga
Walkin out that door
Whoda thought I'd never see
Philant no more
Got enough dead homies
I don't want no more
Cost a nigga his job,
Cost me more
Ida took that ass-whoopin
Now for sure
Now think before I risk my life
Take them chances to get my stripe
A nigga put his hands on me alright
Otherwise stand there
Talk shit all night
Cuz I hit you, you sue me,
I shoot you, get locked up, who me?
No more stress, now I'm straight,
Now I get it now I take
Time to think
Before I make mistakes
Just for my familys sake
That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away.

(Chorus)

(J.T.)
I turn my head to the east
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
Swallow that pill
That they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
The new me will be alright
I turn my head to the east
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
Swallow that pill
That they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
The new me will be alright

(Chorus)
I just want to say,
some people think they are all that and a bag of chips!
even after a few years, still
they think
they are ALL that and a bag of chips!!!!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

So much to do!

I just have soooo many things I need to do with my life!!!

-look crazy pretty
-look crazy hot
-get into crazy awesome shape

these things will involve a workout, make-up to enhance, and great clothes.

-tan
the sun

-be crazy smart
study over the summer!!!

-make money
work 40 hours a week
find a second job? - make 1-1.5k more money
don't think this will be feasible between working out, studying, spending time with family and my internship, and then I will see when I get to do my hospital hours.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Celeron

My oh my! what a warm sunny beautiful day!!

I went to celeron last night with grace and adriana and some new girlfriends. it was fun. grace didnt have fun though unfortunately. as we were walking to celeron on the rape trail victor was walking right by my side! And then my new girlfriends needed to use the bathroom and Victor was a big help with that. They were like we gotta be classy and not go in the bushes.

OH and I forgot to call Kathy Zhai, cause she said she'd be there. when I remembered we were walking back on the rape trail, I minutes later I saw her!!!! woot!

Then me and Victor walked to the Union and met up with Renaldo, Puja, Vi, and Guang. We just talked and then made our way over to Grad dorms and played drinking games with Texas Hold Em, and Puja and Renaldo did some magic card tricks. This was til like 3/4 AM. Probably like 3:30AM I got to bed.

I gtg cram!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Band I Like

I found a new band I like. It's called Better Than Ezra.
"You were going to be a doctor, movie star; a poet at a noble seminar. I hope the world never tore that out of you."
It's hard to do something well that you don't like (or temporarily don't like - situational). You won't be passionate about it and it will show. Imagine that for 20+ years.

1 Hour of Exercise or 24 Hours of Being Dead?

In your super-busy, time-starved, too-busy-to-exercise-life, what sounds better:
1 Hour of Exercise or 24 Hours of Being Dead?

It’s easy to be “too busy” and to put off all the important things we need to do in life. If you want to convince someone you didn’t have time to do something, you just tell them you were too busy; then expect them to believe you! Here’s what you really mean to say to that person:

“I had the time to call you back (because I have the same 24 hours in my day as you do), but I chose to do other things that were more important at the time. Therefore, you were moved lower on my priority list of things to do, and I will be calling you back when I no longer have priorities that rank higher than you.”
katielady

Now- let’s take that example and relate it to exercise. Answer these questions:

* How do you spend your time before work each day?

* How do you spend the time after work each day?

* Do you wake up 20 minutes earlier or do you sleep right up until the time your alarm clock goes off?

* Do you watch television? If so, for how long?

It’s this simple: If you prioritize being healthy above sleeping, you will exercise in the morning before work and you won’t:

* Make excuses.

* Allow anything to “pop up.”

* Allow your blackberry to interfere.

* Miss a single day.

Rather- You will wake up and look forward to exercising because it is going to increase your chances of living longer- and it’s that simple.

Please, please (pretty please) start an exercise program today. It’s a great first step to living a happier, healthier life. I know it may not be fun for you- but it can help you live longer.

Do you Already exercise? Please do a good deed today and pass this on to someone who needs to start exercising. You just may save a life!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time when it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to shame.

He slept a summer by my side,
He filled my days with endless wonder...
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came!

And still I dream he'll come to me,
That we will live the years together,
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather!

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living,
So different now from what it seemed...
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Susan Boyle

I thought I had posted my blog about Susan Boyle grrr something went wrong! I'm not sure if I can express what I felt the first time I watched the video clip of her.

She's amazing. She's my role model right now.

I'll put it short for now. I have to do some reading.

You are just so beautiful to me, Susan Boyle.
I'm coming back to my senses!

I'm coming back to the way I used to be. Thinking good positive, good-getter things!
Closer to getting back my motivation, my drive, my initiative.

I'm finding inspiration in life.

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"As long as it takes," I'm GON GET IT DONE!

It all takes time.

My Independence

"Independence doesn’t mean you don’t need other people or care about what other people think about you. Independent people seek things which empower them (things that allow them to use their strengths) instead of enable them (things that allow them to defer their development). It doesn’t sound to me like you need enabling, but you haven’t found someone who caters to your strengths."

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I think it's that I get convinced that I need all these things because of the environment around me sometimes can get me thinkin', maybe I need this, maybe I'm supposed to have that, maybe I should do that.

This and that I'm feeling incompetent in my academics has facilitated my reversion. Though I have made some progress, I have built up some intangible barriers and thus developed the fear of new things.


But I like trying new things. I went out and I learned how to Latin dance. It was through my initiative that I went by myself and had some a great experience.


Back in high school I would try to volunteer, find stuff on my own - do that volunteer thing at Tarrywile Park. I did the pole vault - an amazing amazing experience!

I feel like I'm slipping. Losing my independence.

But I am finding it again. =D

Thursday, April 16, 2009

You have to take the good with the bad & smile with the sad. Love what you got & remember what you once had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret. People change, things go wrong, but just remember; life goes on.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I think people for example Clinton, he used to blog on xanga a lot when he was in either middle school or high school, most likely more like high school, but now he says all that xanga stuff is crap and says that everyone on there is emo, and totally just puts it all down, like one time was talking about it and he was saying how ppl comment and are like yo man i feel you i feel you. It's just because he is past that phase of his life, and probably it's a time he doesn't want to remember (well that is all subjective to him idk how he feels).

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Forget y'all!

Forget you all.

Disappointment. Hopeless people.

I am a strong independent woman.

Forget you all.

To think I thought I needed you.

To think I keep letting myself fall apart.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

"The heart I didn't give away is eating itself apart."
Sometimes I hate people. That because it feels like they use me, I'm so temporary, so transient that I am not worth anything long-term.

And I hate that I often do not get my way. Which often is like always. Idk whatever.

Various Thoughts

I'm becoming scared and insecure again. I don't like it.

After Latinfest I feel disconnected. I had no one to walk me back. I had to call John who luckily was up still, which I yea he would be. But he walked me back to my room.

My issue with life:
I'm afraid to get too close, I'm afraid to fall too deep.

The Cali trip would allow me and Elley to catch up and have some great quality time together. =D

Latinfest was fun.

Thinking I should do senior solo next year.

I'm thinking I'd like to go to the Salsa Congress. It's May 22-24, and every night there is a Dance Party! Me and Raymundo will have a lot of fun!

Kyle is going to Salamanca, Spain for a month, I think she said in July? She said it is 3k @@!